A moan a day keeps my pyschiatrist at arms length.

This blog was always intended to moan from, anonomously, but you see we're not very secretive so its a bit obvious of our names n such, so i dont care if its anonomous. But i have to outpour everything that is grating on me, me and waldorf seem to think too much so its a by product we wont like alot of things. Trvial things are the worse, such as vaccuums. Recently ive noticed how much i dislike vacuums and how if im walking up my street and i can hear out the window the vacuum is in full swing i won't go in. It is the most boring and monotonous sound in the world. Even the look, the size and the time it takes the vaccuum are some of the most annoying times in my life. If you measured my blood pressure before and during a vaccuum attack, it would sky rocket during. The ones with smug little faces, henry? is that is name? They are the worse, theyr appear frienly with their cheerful expression that are equally capable of that atrocious noise. HC booth you wanke theres was nothing wrong with brooms, dont try and change something thats good enough.

I also get really annoyed by pottering about, i wish people would just get a proper puprose in their actions. You know like people who unnesesarily stalk around, clicking their fingers and mask their non sense of direction by wiping a few crumbs off a table, or dusting the clock or just picking up a glass youve barely finished with and getting annoyed that you've left it there for 2.4 seconds. Parents are really good at this, i think its cus their used to doing so much in the week that at the weekend they become pottering zombies. I used to be a waitress and you get good at pottering, in fact it is probably because of trivial rubbish, annoying jobs that i hate pottering about. Shiffting a few boxes round in a cupboard, filling up straws because 5 of them have gone missing, or clearing away a sugar packet off a table even though someones still sitting their, and you get twelve year old "assistant managers", such as this kid called adam who i used to work with telling you to do this, why his tubby head stands all smug and contet with his meaningless career choice. Some people are really good at pointless jobs, and in fact their not pointless because it's buisness and you need buisness but i should never be stuck in a shop, climbing the walls because im standing around trying to convice people that £2.99 is the price and no we can't barter on it i am not an morroocan jewell merchant, and yes your so funny when you pretend to do a runner.

And lastly before the world explodes with negativity is people who don't do the speed limit and that my friends...is absolutly no one. I think its a sign of how much of a shit driver you are if you cant do the speed limit and have one robotic speed in all variations, do they hope that every single road they come across will be 40 mph, ahh its a 30 area fuck that im doing 40, ahhh its national speed limit fuck that im doing 40, ahh im driving up my drive fuck that im doing 40, ahhh im going through a safari park fuck that im doing 40. You idiots, their should be an iq minimum on learning to drive. The worse are the intentional speeders though. The ones who think its a measure of their prowess and fitness and if you can speed your some greek adonis and that your big FAT foot and complete lack of care for your car shows that your gene pool is one to be highly sought after. When i see someone speed past me it sends shivers down my spine, god its so arousing you must be a real man or some boudican warrior woman, i feel so belittled and meaningless to you, you must really have good....good....oh no wait, theres nothing good about that person because there is absolutly no effort involved at all, except perhaps risking killing some child or somert. You are sitting on your arse, you barely have to move your arms to steer, indicating is about the most strenuous activity involved in driving, or maybe adjusting your seat.



Anyways im bored now songs i like are mr hudsong-supernova and noisettes- never forget me, i really like never forget me, the video is well cool. I also enjoy michael jackson beat it, because of that stockholm video with all the dancers thats wicked that is. This blogs probabaly not very coherant but it was just a spontaneous decanting of my thoughts

up yours dr waldorf.

Allanah is a threatening beast, she said she'd hit me where it hurts which is my pride and joy this blog. So i thought to keep it going, i shall post some songs that i am loving at the moment, plus it makes it easy for me to find them to listen to as i forgot the password to my laptop and now can NEVER use the internet to download shh. Updates, things are very very well thankyou mysterious blog readers. I do have some topics for bloggin but ill wait until a bit because at the moment i really need the toilet.



Here we go chillun.

Frankmusik-Gotta boyfriend, Better of as two.

Marina and the diamonds-Obsessions

oren lavie-Her morning elegance

Maybe going to see frankmusik in mankyland deaf centre as hes a knob and doesnt want to play in bimringham but oh wells


your musically

statlers.

I take my squinty eyes but raise you some war crimes.

Rosa: "Kerry, can i ask you something,"

Kerry: "Yeah..."

Tentative, serious pause, as if weighing up if the curiosity will kill the nazi cat.

Rosa: "You know when you laugh....can you see out of your eyes?"....

So she drew my plight. The answer is...yes yes i can see out of my eyes when i laugh.

Queen craphole

Well just one more. I thought i'd have a bit of a bitch about is this swine flu breakout. Yeah yeah seems like old news now doesn't it. But oh no wait...not in BIRMINGHAM it aint, oh no no no. It was very unsuprising when we first heard the whisps of a pandemic sized virus sweeping its way through the globe, that it wouldn't have one of its rally points in birmingham. Seriously its depressing. It was just like ohh yes swine flu is in scotland, its being contained. The rest of England wiped their brows and though no more of it, but it was a matter of dirty people time that it coursed down in to transient central, the shanty town that is handsworth, birmingham. This place may as well be mexico. It is a melting pot of anything and everything in the world, a bit like a scene in star wars, or how you'd imagine a black market to be, you could expect to find many a dodgy character in the back alleys selling organs or ivory for cheap cheap prices. Its got gang crime, drugs, segregation, a rumour that there were signs forboding white people after certain times and now it hasss the big bad swine flu. Its the kind of place where ambiguity and things are over ever alluded to and the likes of revereand lovejoys wife from the simpsons would thrive with her "save the children oh dear go save the children" when really the children are looking at her like prey. Its not even funny any more its getting annoying, what are they doing round there? i wouldnt be suprised if the sanitation pipes had be scrapped for cheap money for more drugs and poo was lining the streets. Dirty dirty place. Eurgh if i had my way, id put a big bubble round the place, and make people have comprehensive examination if they want to leave it. Infact id make it its own country with its own passports, handsworth country, home of guns and swineflu. Handsworth sounds too good for such a craphole though, it would be called craphole, and there would be a queen of craphole. But apparently thats not humane. What is humane is letting them contaminate nice and healthy people. You nuggets.

She'll have fun till daddy takes the t-bird away

I fear, well i don't, that waldorfs nostradamus like prediction that this blog will become a festering has been, is concerningly accurate. With my internet difficulties having ideas is easy, but blogging them is hard. Waldorf lives on the computer like seriously, theres much she can post so you've got her thought vomit everywhere. Me on the other hand i like to imagine myself as more of a white tiger of the blog, elusive yet beautiful haha. But no seriosuly im also getting busyyy bumblebeed, i have my driving theory that i seem to be the only person in the world whos revising for as i can't afford not to pass, June is about getting superduper fit but its exciting and easy to do when the weather is so sexy, theres this nazi youth goblin thing milling around me in which it feels courteous to entertain. Actually when i write it down, it doesn't seem much but seems to take up all my time. To be honest now, the immensity of it mustn't be to demanding as for the last 2 hours ive been sitting in my garden reading haha. Im lieing about not having time for the blog, i am just sick of computers. But as a notification, i won't be around for a while unless i get a mega good idea.

Yours substantially,
Statler.

What is this? Allanah you fancy la roux? we should take you up straight street and get you out of gay village

Allanah publicly announced that she has a smouldering yearning for the ginger locks of la roux. I personally think this is vile, of all the women in the world which i think in an estimation would be 3 billion, a straight girl decideds to fancy a pastey faced ginger with the features of a turtle. I mean i like her dress sense, well some of it but her head kinda ruins it, and i think heads are quite important. I can imagine many lezzers going mental because she's gay and famous so im sorry allanah she's not going to want you, she'll have football shirts and rugby balls galore thrown at her, your dresses and pearls are not what she's after. Well she is, i dunno, is she even gay? Or are we just assuming. I bet she's married. Im sorry la roux if you go out with allanah and eventually read this, its just that you look so moody it makes me want to punch you, but i will buy your album, if you get your finger out and make one. Your just confirming my turtle theory.

Yours in the quicksand

Statler

i love statler

Bein an absolute flop i take forever to get ready leaving kerry to mill about doing nothing drinking her head off, she always looks good though so she never has to get ready. We are going out tonight and again im doubling my age with the time it take, right now im straightening my greasy locks, theres spiders and everything coming out its rather disgusting but its ok cus i dnt wash. My ipod speakers have to be propped up by nail vanish, statler tried to mock but i dnt undertand why. Im also very slow in life, i dont know why this is but to get to the end of the road it takes me about 20 minutes, statlers already at our destination and hasnt even noticed im not there its so not fair, but its because im stupid at like to look around at boring things. Im also really slow at any time of procese like going the bank, i alway get my pin wrong, and then look at the screeen for another 20 minutes until i realise im at the bank and it would be nessersary for me to withdraw money, im an idiot really. I just burnt my chin because of my slow hands, and im really clumsy i rememeber when i fell down a wet muddy hill over a field once and it was really funny if u were watching, which i want becaue i was the one falling down the hill, and had to go to hospital to get stitches, after statler had tried to get the dirt out with drunken muddy hands but that faled and probabaly nearly gave me septicemia. In fact i probabaly did get septicemia but im so slow it probabaly got bored on the way to my brain and took a return ticket out. Right now im doing my eyeliner i do not joke i have been doing this now for 10 minutes. Constantly aplying it, i havent even breathed yet.

Anywayyys yours very slowly

Waldorf