If I had a fish...

At this moment in time I really feel the need to express my great love for fish. Sometimes when I am home alone and there is nothing else to do, I Google the word “fish”. This not only cures my boredom but in the meanwhile I learn a new fact about a fish every day. Fish facts are fun, Google displays 280,000,000 searches which means there are still lots of fish facts out there I do not know about yet, as I have only been Googling fish for 1546 days now.
Currently I do not own a fish, but If I were to own a fish, I would name him Edward. I would only ever address him as Ed though, unless I am giving him a good telling off he will be addressed as Edward, as I feel it is more ruthless and demanding and would get my point across more, therefore, Ed would learn his lesson never to misbehave again. I feel I would make a very good owner as I am firm yet loveable. Ed would also feel that he could come to me with a problem as I am understanding and thoughtful. To be honest, I’m not sure if I would ever want to own a fish again. I had a very traumatic experience as a child with a fish. His name was Guppie; he was a beautiful fish, a smeared shade of grey with dark splodges. He shared a fish tank with 2 of my sisters fishes, their names are unimportant. One day, my younger sister approached me during a very important meeting with my Barbie dolls. She informed me of some news that shocked the life out of me. She decided to tell me that Guppie was her fish. You can image my response as a hostile 7 year old, especially being interrupted whilst playing Barbie’s. I screeched back with a Barbie doll clutched in my stubby little hand, almost using it as a weapon “GUPPIE IS MY FISH! NOT YOURS! YOU HAVE A FISH!” As you can imagine, she saw that this news deeply flustered me, so she continued to sprawl the lies, “GUPPIE WAS NEVER YOUR FISH! HE WAS MINE FROM THE BEGINNING!” I was devastated, she clearly knew Guppie was my fish, yet she continued to tease and taunt me with her lies. At that moment in time, I felt like grabbing my two Barbie’s, Jessica and Courtney, and whacking her several times around her smug face. Instead, I burst into tears. I was devastated, I felt so betrayed and confused. I was being laughed at and mocked by a 4 year old.
Not long after this incident, as I stumbled in from school, my mother informed me that Guppie had passed away that day. At first I didn’t believe her, I couldn’t, he was happy and healthy, and I wasn’t having any of it. She continued to tell me that she had randomly strolled into the bathroom to find Guppie floating upside down on the surface of the water in the fish tank. Again, I burst into tears at the news. “Let me say goodbye to him at least”. She looked at me with remorse. I saw it in her eyes; I knew what she was going to say, “I’ve already flushed him down the toilet”. My eyes continued to well up even more, how could she do this to me?! My beautiful Guppie, she knew how much I loved that fish, yet she didn’t even give me the chance to send him a farewell before he went to fish heaven. I have never forgiven my mother for this, and she accepts that, but I could never bring myself to try and replace Guppie. Instead I have Google to keep me content.

Any who, must dash
Waldorf

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