What is this? Allanah you fancy la roux? we should take you up straight street and get you out of gay village

Allanah publicly announced that she has a smouldering yearning for the ginger locks of la roux. I personally think this is vile, of all the women in the world which i think in an estimation would be 3 billion, a straight girl decideds to fancy a pastey faced ginger with the features of a turtle. I mean i like her dress sense, well some of it but her head kinda ruins it, and i think heads are quite important. I can imagine many lezzers going mental because she's gay and famous so im sorry allanah she's not going to want you, she'll have football shirts and rugby balls galore thrown at her, your dresses and pearls are not what she's after. Well she is, i dunno, is she even gay? Or are we just assuming. I bet she's married. Im sorry la roux if you go out with allanah and eventually read this, its just that you look so moody it makes me want to punch you, but i will buy your album, if you get your finger out and make one. Your just confirming my turtle theory.

Yours in the quicksand

Statler

i love statler

Bein an absolute flop i take forever to get ready leaving kerry to mill about doing nothing drinking her head off, she always looks good though so she never has to get ready. We are going out tonight and again im doubling my age with the time it take, right now im straightening my greasy locks, theres spiders and everything coming out its rather disgusting but its ok cus i dnt wash. My ipod speakers have to be propped up by nail vanish, statler tried to mock but i dnt undertand why. Im also very slow in life, i dont know why this is but to get to the end of the road it takes me about 20 minutes, statlers already at our destination and hasnt even noticed im not there its so not fair, but its because im stupid at like to look around at boring things. Im also really slow at any time of procese like going the bank, i alway get my pin wrong, and then look at the screeen for another 20 minutes until i realise im at the bank and it would be nessersary for me to withdraw money, im an idiot really. I just burnt my chin because of my slow hands, and im really clumsy i rememeber when i fell down a wet muddy hill over a field once and it was really funny if u were watching, which i want becaue i was the one falling down the hill, and had to go to hospital to get stitches, after statler had tried to get the dirt out with drunken muddy hands but that faled and probabaly nearly gave me septicemia. In fact i probabaly did get septicemia but im so slow it probabaly got bored on the way to my brain and took a return ticket out. Right now im doing my eyeliner i do not joke i have been doing this now for 10 minutes. Constantly aplying it, i havent even breathed yet.

Anywayyys yours very slowly

Waldorf

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye

After some shifting and ducking, and changing of trade i noww have my start date which is the 19th of August. Now its actually here i am in all respects cacking my pants, ill bet itll rain. It always raining when you need encouragment. Ahhhh man i do not know what to think, its well funny. Oh well i shall be out in the big bad world, dont think its actually sunk in leaving home n all that. Ahh one minute i would be waiting a year for it all to process and literally with one phonecall i started on August 19th. Waldorfs coming with me anyway she said ahh yah ill come with you, shes gonna be more involved in the action though. Shes a good little fighter.

Anyways

Yours happily

Statler

it only happens if it doesn't matter

ok ok ok its out my system this wristcutter, etgar keret obsession, i recieved the dvd and the books and now its allllll out my brain because ive watched and read it. Its worth it go and buy it, you wont find it anywhere bar the interent though, but get it anyway. Oh n im also gonna hit waldorf in the head with an ore cus she doesn't even know what career im going in to. No one bloody does. Im actually going to stop listening to other people and their stupid aspirations if they don't listen to me. I should be asleep now, ive been sent to bed for a nap before work but i cant nap very well.

Today i nearly had 3 crashes cus people cant drive, actually cant drive, obviously a purple car blends in to environments very well and people like to reverse out at speeds that only my youthful reactions (not my driving skills) saved me from. I got to use the horn though, and shake my fist like a cartoon character, that was exhilirating. I don't like driving much, people are rubbish, they can't pull off very fast so one car gets through traffic lights cus theyre so bloody stale and old and stupid and have seized up joints and a seized up brain, but then when eventually they do move they go ridiculously fast and like to make home in my boot.

I feel like this has became a childish account of my day. Wahever im just emptying my thoughts for nap time. We are also a dot com now, how that came about i do not know. What that means i also do not know. But you are missing the point, we are a dot com now. www.kerryisbetterthanallanah.com

Yours dot comly

www.Statler.com